5 Points

So this has been a pretty bad week on the baby front. Everything, and I mean everything, has been a struggle. The worst has been the sleeping. While just last week Henry would very contently have his bottle at 6:30 PM while we watched ‘Pointless’ then start jabbering away at around 7 PM telling us to put him to bed and then sleep soundly until 5:30-6 AM; this week he’s refusing to have his bottle, refusing to sleep, refusing to stay asleep for more than 2 hours, refusing to lay in his crib and refusing to be anything more than a punk ass bitch. Needless to say that it’s been days since Andy and I have gotten anything resembling a proper night sleep and I have to admit that today I cracked. I cracked in the sense that I actually had a fleeting whiny thought that screamed, “I don’t want to be a parent anymore! I want to run away to Mexico to join a gang that smuggles illegal drugs in sombreros and accordions!”

It’s been that sort of week.

In an effort to get my head on straight, I thought I would compose a little list compiling all the great things that Henry does now that he turned 8 months old. I can not be held responsible if a bit of negativity creeps in. My vodka hasn’t settled in yet and I might still be a bit bitter.

1. CRAWLING

OK, he isn’t crawling crawling yet, but he’s doing the Commando crawl and quite proficiently too. Just this week he started pulling his knees up for a proper crawl but gets confused on what the next step is and just rocks a bit before falling back to the Commando. It’s kind of funny…

…it’s also kind of a pain in the ass. While before I could leave him in a room with a bucket of toys while I took a shower or whatever, now I have to watch him like a hawk. The clothes iron almost fell on his head yesterday. The flat iron did fall on his head (I wasn’t quick enough) but it was made of plastic and turned off so not a problem. Andy’s laptop cord is a current favorite of his, as is the weekly TV guide. Also, by the look of Henry’s pants and socks at the end of the day, I’m clearly not sweeping the floors often enough.

2. EATING SOLID FOODS

Henry is more than just eating pureed peas or whatever, he’s actually eating small bits of things. Today I made him a plate of cooked potatoes, cooked carrots, cucumber, cheese, chicken deli slice, boiled egg, and raisins. He takes FOREVER to chew just a single small piece, but he eats it all without complaining. We could actually try to feed him a store bought pureed baby beef stew packet and he’d refuse it, but if we made the same thing ourselves at home with little pieces, he’d chomp it down like cake. I really like that I can give him bits of my lunch and we can sing silly “eating turkey sandwiches” songs. He’s also so very cute when he opens his mouth like a little bird when I’m about to feed him something.

3. THE PINCHER GRAB

This is a typical milestone at 8 months. This is when babies start using their thumb and forefinger to pick up something. Henry is about 80% of getting this perfected. In the meantime, I tend to pick up a lot of little pieces of potatoes, carrots, cucumber, cheese, chicken, egg and raisins off of the floor that I need to sweep more often.

Also, pincher grab? The ‘pincher’ in the title gives it away. You have not lived until your darling baby with his beautiful big eyes gives you a nice ole hearty pinch in your bingo wings.

4. LANGUAGE SKILLS

Like all babies, Henry has gone through the gambit of sounds, testing each one out for about a week until he feels he has nailed it. Some are more annoying than others; the screeching week was like chalkboard hell. My personal favorite was a couple weeks back when he did a soft whisper “sha sha sha sha”. It was like he was telling me the dark secrets and gossip that his stuffed toys get onto at night when they think he’s asleep. I guess you could say he says “mama” and “dada” if “mamamamamama” counts (I don’t think it does).

This week apparently is the clench up your entire body and let out a guttural yell. I’m sure this one will be useful for when he’s older and his boss tells him he needs to work overtime.

5.  LAUGHING

Henry has always been easy to make laugh, but in the past you had to make him laugh by doing something physical. A bit of a tickle, raspberries, kissing his feet or hands…so on and so forth. Lately he laughs at things he sees that he finds funny. There is nothing like seeing your baby laugh, it’s addictive.

Also, the way I drink coffee is apparently hysterical, I wonder why no one has mentioned this to me before.