Kids + Weird Shit on their Heads = Comedy Gold
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Month End Photos
So I typically send out a monthly email to the grandparents and some other people who swear they enjoy Henry updates and I include a link to a Picasa web album that has the photos for the month. Now, because I get excited about sharing the photos, I tend to send out the link at the beginning of the month with a mention that these people check the same link throughout the month to see the latest photos. Except for Henry's English Nana, I don't actually think anyone else checks the web album again. I don't blame them really, I'd probably forget too. All that really means is that a lot of people are missing the great end of the month pictures. Well no longer I say!
Here's some of my end of the month favorites:
Here's some of my end of the month favorites:
Like all kids, Henry loves bubbles. He can't say "bubbles", only "bub", but he can say "pop". He is saying "bub" in this photo by the way.
"I went to the 'In the Night Garden' live show and all I got was this lousy t-shirt...and an activity book, and a hand puppet...and a light up toy...and a...well, you get the picture."
I will enjoy telling Henry when he was older that we spent an entire afternoon hanging out on Penny Lane and all he was interested in was moving rocks around.
A-ha! An indoor activity he actually enjoys...stickers!
Last picture of the month, taken yesterday after our picnic in Calderstone's Park.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Cool Guy
So when my sister was in town we ended up going to Tesco. While Maggie was fawning over a F&F squirrel shirt, Henry and I were messing around with the kid's sunglasses. We found these and I decided to get them. Now whenever I put them on Henry, I smile at him and say, "Hey Cool Guy."
For a person who has no idea who Steve McQueen is, I think he's got the look down already.
For a person who has no idea who Steve McQueen is, I think he's got the look down already.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Messy Learning - Take 1
So you've probably heard that the UK has been getting a lot of rain this summer. All this rain has posed a great challenge to those who have to entertain toddlers all day long. Or one toddler, who can seem like 10 toddlers when he's on a whiny bender. When it's sunny, we can go for walks and go to the park or take a bus into town to hang out at the mall (Henry totally LOVES the mall)(seriously)(we're still hoping for grandchildren one day) or whatever. When it rains...well, you have to get creative. I am actually a somewhat creative person, though not when it comes to entertaining toddlers. With that, I usually draw a blank and just say "fuck it, we're going to the indoor play center...AGAIN."
With a lack of ideas in my head when it's pouring outside and Henry is looking at me with those big gorgeous eyes he's inherited from me, I turn to the internet for inspiration. Most of the ideas I've stolen from the internet have been a big fat bomb. The ones I have tried Henry just wasn't into. I keep trying though, certainly there will be something that will entertain my child.
Today, as the rain clouds gathered outside, I decided to try Messy Learning using shaving cream and finger paint from PlayCreateExplore.com (great site). It was easy enough to put together. Three bowls - three different colors of finger paint - add shaving cream - mix until frothy. Let kid stick hands in and squeal in delight and wonder.
Unless, of course, you have my kid. My kid will stick his one finger in tentatively, try to eat it, get gently told 'no, don't eat it', stick his hand in, squish it around, realize he hates the feel of a bunch of shaving cream on his hands and will start screaming. No amount of "here, watch Mommy do it!" or "it's fun! it's fun!" will stop the screaming. The only thing that stopped Henry screaming was cleaning him off.
To be fair to Henry, he hated the feel of grass on his feet up until he was a year old so I guess we'll just have to give messy learning some time. OR, perhaps he's inherited my "messes make me nervous" policy as well as those big gorgeous eyes.
With a lack of ideas in my head when it's pouring outside and Henry is looking at me with those big gorgeous eyes he's inherited from me, I turn to the internet for inspiration. Most of the ideas I've stolen from the internet have been a big fat bomb. The ones I have tried Henry just wasn't into. I keep trying though, certainly there will be something that will entertain my child.
Today, as the rain clouds gathered outside, I decided to try Messy Learning using shaving cream and finger paint from PlayCreateExplore.com (great site). It was easy enough to put together. Three bowls - three different colors of finger paint - add shaving cream - mix until frothy. Let kid stick hands in and squeal in delight and wonder.
Unless, of course, you have my kid. My kid will stick his one finger in tentatively, try to eat it, get gently told 'no, don't eat it', stick his hand in, squish it around, realize he hates the feel of a bunch of shaving cream on his hands and will start screaming. No amount of "here, watch Mommy do it!" or "it's fun! it's fun!" will stop the screaming. The only thing that stopped Henry screaming was cleaning him off.
To be fair to Henry, he hated the feel of grass on his feet up until he was a year old so I guess we'll just have to give messy learning some time. OR, perhaps he's inherited my "messes make me nervous" policy as well as those big gorgeous eyes.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Dear Auntie Maggie...
"I have not stopped walking through the clothesline since you left. I will continue to run through the clothesline until you return."
Love, Henry
Love, Henry
Sunday, August 12, 2012
I do exist!
Of all the pictures I have of Henry, there are only a hand full that I am actually in. Like most moms, I control the camera. Also, like many people with a weight problem I'm very picky on pictures that are taken of me. I realize there is only so much one can do to only capture a single chin on my face. If you are to take a photograph of me, under no circumstances are you to take a profile shot....or a shot of my ass...or one of me eating anything EVER. With all these rules it makes perfect sense that most people just avoid taking photographs of me. I honestly don't mind. However I realize that Henry probably will want pictures that have me in them, no matter what I look like. I mean, I have pictures with my mom with a 1980's gymnastic perm and besides a bit of a giggle about the perm, it's just a picture of my mom that I'm glad I have.
So double chins and big asses and the fact that I'm convinced I've developed rosacea over the last 5 years be damned, I've relented to some of the following photographs.
So double chins and big asses and the fact that I'm convinced I've developed rosacea over the last 5 years be damned, I've relented to some of the following photographs.
This one makes me concerned because my roots are showing. Great angle for chins though.
You know, Henry could have had the decency to smile instead of being obsessed with the sand.
Chin hiding. Henry is obviously not happy about that.
Perhaps Henry just doesn't like being in the same picture with me.
"MOTHER!!!!!"
Yes, I'm red. I'm very red. See? I have Rosacea...or I'm just really warm and sun burnt. But hey! At least Henry doesn't look grumpy.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Weird Milestones #37
This weekend Henry learned not only how to blow his nose but also how to blow raspberries on his hand. I couldn't be more proud as I'm already thinking of all the happy times we will have making farting noises with our body parts. The blowing his nose thing will be sort of useful too I guess.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
The light! The light!
Because we are so far north here in the UK, our daylight hours are extremely different season to season. In the winter time the sun only comes up between 9 AM and 3 PM. On the flip-side of that, in the summer, it is bright out (when it isn't fucking raining!!) between 4 AM and 11 PM.
While Henry is typically really good at having a nap during the day whether the sun is shining or not, at night he likes it dark. Of course this has resulted in later bedtimes since summer hit (which means later drinking times for his parents. Boo). He is tired no matter what the sun is trying to say so sometimes he sleeps like this:
Seeing him like this gives me a bit of a glimpse of what his teenage years are going to be like.
While Henry is typically really good at having a nap during the day whether the sun is shining or not, at night he likes it dark. Of course this has resulted in later bedtimes since summer hit (which means later drinking times for his parents. Boo). He is tired no matter what the sun is trying to say so sometimes he sleeps like this:
Yes, Social Services, I did verify he could still breathe.
Seeing him like this gives me a bit of a glimpse of what his teenage years are going to be like.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
A bit of a change
I have been meaning to write more here but just never seem to get around to it. There are so many little things that come up that aren't full post worthy but are fun and deserve a mention. If you all don't mind, I think I'm going to change the format of this blog to more a 'status update' than full on essay type posts. I'm sure I'll get wordy here and there but most of the time it's going to be sweet and simple. At least you'll get more of a reason to check in here anyway.
With that said, here's a quick collage of Henry loitering over at Liverpool One (the outdoor shopping mall in the center of town). Henry is pretty good being pushing around in the stroller while I go in and out of all the shops as long as I take him out of the stroller at the end to play. These stairs were actually quite tall (compared to normal steps) and I admit I huffed a bit every time he got too far up and I had to bring him back down.
The day after this was taken, Henry woke up with a rash all over his body. We took him to the doctors and he is fine, just a common viral infection called roseola. Our outing didn't cause the infection - in fact the rash indicates that he had the infection for days and this is just the last bit of it - but I'm glad I got these shots before the little man was covered in spots. You can't expect to become a baby GQ model covered in spots after all.
With that said, here's a quick collage of Henry loitering over at Liverpool One (the outdoor shopping mall in the center of town). Henry is pretty good being pushing around in the stroller while I go in and out of all the shops as long as I take him out of the stroller at the end to play. These stairs were actually quite tall (compared to normal steps) and I admit I huffed a bit every time he got too far up and I had to bring him back down.
The day after this was taken, Henry woke up with a rash all over his body. We took him to the doctors and he is fine, just a common viral infection called roseola. Our outing didn't cause the infection - in fact the rash indicates that he had the infection for days and this is just the last bit of it - but I'm glad I got these shots before the little man was covered in spots. You can't expect to become a baby GQ model covered in spots after all.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
Idea #38 on how to entertain your kid
OK listen, I let my kid crawl around on the floor in public places...a lot. I make sure he doesn't bug anybody, stick anything horribly foreign in his gob and always have baby wipes on hand once he's done.
I send my love to the spotty kid working his part time job who entertained Henry for a good 20 minutes. Yes, Henry chased the little yellow car for 20 minutes and his hands may have been black when I pulled him away. Baby wipes! It's all good.
Also, I feel a tad bit guilty that I didn't actually buy anything.
But then Henry's Auntie Maggie got him these and I forgot all about my guilt.
I send my love to the spotty kid working his part time job who entertained Henry for a good 20 minutes. Yes, Henry chased the little yellow car for 20 minutes and his hands may have been black when I pulled him away. Baby wipes! It's all good.
Also, I feel a tad bit guilty that I didn't actually buy anything.
But then Henry's Auntie Maggie got him these and I forgot all about my guilt.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Bad Mommy
So Henry took his first steps last weekend. It was the day before Father's Day and I think Henry was feeling a bit guilty that he hadn't got Andy anything but a scribble drawing so he gave some steps up as a gift. Try as we might, and oh do we try, we haven't been able to capture any of his independent walking on camera. But I swear to you that he's been doing it. No, seriously.
This past weekend we decided to head up to Leeds for the day to see Andy's cousin. While we were out and about, I had decided to pop into the Clarks store to get Henry's feet measured. In December Henry was wearing a size (UK) 2 shoe and this spring I bought him a couple more pairs of shoes in size 2 ½ because he seemed to be busting out of the 2's. I've been happily putting Henry's feet in the 2 ½ size ever since. This is why it came as a huge shock to me when the clerk measuring Henry's feet announced that he was a size 4 ½.
“You're joking.”
“No. Well, the right is ever so slightly smaller than the left but he's definitely a size 4 ½.”
“But he's currently wearing 2 1/2's!”
“If you have to struggle to put those shoes on (and I did) and the zipper doesn't stay up (it didn't), then those shoes are definitely too small for his feet.”
“Oh. Oh shit.”
“So what type of shoe are you interested in today?”
“The ones that are on sale please.”
I honestly felt like the worst mother ever for the rest of the afternoon and thoroughly convinced myself that he would have been walking months earlier if he had been wearing footwear that was actually comfortable. To make me feel worse, every single pair of shoes I've ever put on him he was very insistent on taking off the moment I wasn't looking. His new pair of shoes? He plays with the Velcro but is quite content on leaving them on his feet. Worst Mother of the Year, right here please.
My only defense is that my son has inherited Andy's feet. Both of them have these very long Celtic toes that are very good at gripping rocks (way back when blue face paint was in style) or pens off the floor (modern day). I would always put shoes up to Henry's feet before I bought them to see if they'd fit – now I'm realizing that the little guy was curling up his toes (both Andy and Henry do this a lot) when I was doing the sizing. So yeah, basically I was buying shoes sized for a kid with no toes.
In other news, here is Henry's dance. He stopped dancing pretty quickly tonight, but the first 10 seconds should give you the idea. Pardon my heavy breathing in the background, I was trying to stifle my giggles.
He's training for the UK Crawling Olympics so he can't be seen walking.
This past weekend we decided to head up to Leeds for the day to see Andy's cousin. While we were out and about, I had decided to pop into the Clarks store to get Henry's feet measured. In December Henry was wearing a size (UK) 2 shoe and this spring I bought him a couple more pairs of shoes in size 2 ½ because he seemed to be busting out of the 2's. I've been happily putting Henry's feet in the 2 ½ size ever since. This is why it came as a huge shock to me when the clerk measuring Henry's feet announced that he was a size 4 ½.
“You're joking.”
“No. Well, the right is ever so slightly smaller than the left but he's definitely a size 4 ½.”
“But he's currently wearing 2 1/2's!”
“If you have to struggle to put those shoes on (and I did) and the zipper doesn't stay up (it didn't), then those shoes are definitely too small for his feet.”
“Oh. Oh shit.”
“So what type of shoe are you interested in today?”
“The ones that are on sale please.”
On the left, the shoes I was shoving his feet into. On the right, his new comfortable kicks.
I honestly felt like the worst mother ever for the rest of the afternoon and thoroughly convinced myself that he would have been walking months earlier if he had been wearing footwear that was actually comfortable. To make me feel worse, every single pair of shoes I've ever put on him he was very insistent on taking off the moment I wasn't looking. His new pair of shoes? He plays with the Velcro but is quite content on leaving them on his feet. Worst Mother of the Year, right here please.
My only defense is that my son has inherited Andy's feet. Both of them have these very long Celtic toes that are very good at gripping rocks (way back when blue face paint was in style) or pens off the floor (modern day). I would always put shoes up to Henry's feet before I bought them to see if they'd fit – now I'm realizing that the little guy was curling up his toes (both Andy and Henry do this a lot) when I was doing the sizing. So yeah, basically I was buying shoes sized for a kid with no toes.
In other news, here is Henry's dance. He stopped dancing pretty quickly tonight, but the first 10 seconds should give you the idea. Pardon my heavy breathing in the background, I was trying to stifle my giggles.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
You make me laugh, little man
Henry makes me laugh. Like, every single day. As each day progresses it amazes me to watch him become more and more like a little human and less and less like the baby in my head he still is. I know that he is, in fact, a little boy. I just think that since babies progress so slowly the first year – we will thrilled at two months when he grabbed for a toy – that having such a spurt in mental growth is shocking. During the first year it took us over a month to feel comfortable feeding him solids – or more to the point, we didn't think HE was comfortable with solids until a month of trying. Now we are trying to have him feed himself with a spoon. After 3 DAYS, he was all over that shit going, “Of course I can spoon feed myself. Duh. I'm not, like, 10 months anymore, MOM.”
With all this mental growth comes humor. Henry, for example, likes to sing. Since his grasp on the English language is pigeon at best, his 'singing' is more of grabbing on to a syllable and carrying it on for as long as he has a breath. We were in the car the other week when Adele's “Someone Like You” was playing. After the high pitch chorus from Adele, a little voice from the back seat started, “OoooOoooooooooooo!” Andy and I couldn't help but laugh our heads off.
Henry also likes to dance. Right now it's your basic Stevie Wonder dance with some clapping. However, if 'In the Night Garden' is on and they get to the end where all the characters get together for a dance at the gazebo, Henry will insist of popping off the couch to do a leg up, side step, leg up, side step dance to it. It's so damn cute, I promise I'll tape it sometime.
One of the many things that will make Henry break out in a dance.
What Henry is not doing right now is walking. I used to be in the camp that babies will walk when they are ready. I've also been told many times that I should be happy he's not walking yet as for as much trouble he gets into now, it will double when he walks. But now, from my standpoint, it's getting to the point where he is ready, and we are taking him, to places where crawling around just isn't practical. On the advice of one of my blog readers, we decided to take Henry to Farmer Ted's. Farmer Ted's is actually pretty great as far as a farm trip goes – it's more like a farm amusement park for the under 10's. While Henry really enjoyed it, having to carry him when he clearly didn't want to be carried was a bit of a pain. There were precious few places that he could just crawl around – whereas he could have walked pretty much everywhere. We practice walking with him every single day and he can do it quite well just holding on to one of our hands (though he doesn't like it and will start whining for both our hands after a couple steps) but he just doesn't seem to want to. Or he's to scared to, though I truly doubt that is true. He's a bit of a daredevil.
He climbs stairs and is getting good at climbing down them. He climbs chairs and gets himself off just fine. What really convinced me that he wasn't scared of walking was how he handled the slide at the park. The first time I really put Henry on the slide, I just placed him on the platform so that he could look around. Instead of looking around for a bit then sitting there asking to be slid down on his butt like I've done with him before, the little fucker dived head first down the slide before I had a chance to catch him. He had a great laugh and I spent the next half hour putting on that damn platform so he could do it over and over again. Does that sound like a kid that is scared of walking?
With all the time that he's spent not walking, he has been expanding his vocabulary. We've got 'yes' and 'no' now. 'Yes' (or 'es') is the more popular right now, thank god. He said 'lights' and he's trying to say 'orange'. There's also been a lot of pointing to wanted items (funny enough, many times it's pointing to that damn orange) with a bunch of “I can't believe you can't understand what I'm saying, MOM” babble.
Seriously, this time last year we were THRILLED when he grabbed for a toy. Now our singing, dancing, spoon feeding, orange wanting, head first down the slide, refusing to walk little child is, well, making us laugh....like, every day.
"I'll even lick the spoon when I'm done. That's how good I am at this. Please ignore my bib."
With all this mental growth comes humor. Henry, for example, likes to sing. Since his grasp on the English language is pigeon at best, his 'singing' is more of grabbing on to a syllable and carrying it on for as long as he has a breath. We were in the car the other week when Adele's “Someone Like You” was playing. After the high pitch chorus from Adele, a little voice from the back seat started, “OoooOoooooooooooo!” Andy and I couldn't help but laugh our heads off.
Henry also likes to dance. Right now it's your basic Stevie Wonder dance with some clapping. However, if 'In the Night Garden' is on and they get to the end where all the characters get together for a dance at the gazebo, Henry will insist of popping off the couch to do a leg up, side step, leg up, side step dance to it. It's so damn cute, I promise I'll tape it sometime.
One of the many things that will make Henry break out in a dance.
What Henry is not doing right now is walking. I used to be in the camp that babies will walk when they are ready. I've also been told many times that I should be happy he's not walking yet as for as much trouble he gets into now, it will double when he walks. But now, from my standpoint, it's getting to the point where he is ready, and we are taking him, to places where crawling around just isn't practical. On the advice of one of my blog readers, we decided to take Henry to Farmer Ted's. Farmer Ted's is actually pretty great as far as a farm trip goes – it's more like a farm amusement park for the under 10's. While Henry really enjoyed it, having to carry him when he clearly didn't want to be carried was a bit of a pain. There were precious few places that he could just crawl around – whereas he could have walked pretty much everywhere. We practice walking with him every single day and he can do it quite well just holding on to one of our hands (though he doesn't like it and will start whining for both our hands after a couple steps) but he just doesn't seem to want to. Or he's to scared to, though I truly doubt that is true. He's a bit of a daredevil.
"Again! Again!"
He climbs stairs and is getting good at climbing down them. He climbs chairs and gets himself off just fine. What really convinced me that he wasn't scared of walking was how he handled the slide at the park. The first time I really put Henry on the slide, I just placed him on the platform so that he could look around. Instead of looking around for a bit then sitting there asking to be slid down on his butt like I've done with him before, the little fucker dived head first down the slide before I had a chance to catch him. He had a great laugh and I spent the next half hour putting on that damn platform so he could do it over and over again. Does that sound like a kid that is scared of walking?
"I'll even eat prawn cocktail crisps even though I make this face when I do. I'm brave!"
With all the time that he's spent not walking, he has been expanding his vocabulary. We've got 'yes' and 'no' now. 'Yes' (or 'es') is the more popular right now, thank god. He said 'lights' and he's trying to say 'orange'. There's also been a lot of pointing to wanted items (funny enough, many times it's pointing to that damn orange) with a bunch of “I can't believe you can't understand what I'm saying, MOM” babble.
Seriously, this time last year we were THRILLED when he grabbed for a toy. Now our singing, dancing, spoon feeding, orange wanting, head first down the slide, refusing to walk little child is, well, making us laugh....like, every day.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Just the facts, ma'am.
Currently Henry is 13 months old. I actually detest the fact that I am still using months as an age indicator since he’s turned one, but apparently this is Very Important in the mothering world. Since I haven’t updated in awhile (I’m slowly getting back on the blogging horse so to speak after a short break) I thought I’d just start out with some stats.
Weight at 1 year check up: 23 lbs
Height at 1 year check up: 29 inches
Teeth: Two at the bottom, two at the top. There are currently 3 teeth making their way through though which has caused us to buy stock in baby ibuprofen and Calpol.
Walking: Not yet, but he’s getting closer. He walks fine with a baby walker and while holding just one of our hands but he still isn’t brave enough to do it by himself.
Favorite Foods: Yogurt, any type of fruit but the favorites are blueberries, strawberries and bananas, any type of meat or fish (I’ve fed him lamb liver once which he was quite happy about), crackers, Cheerios, spaghetti, and crisps. Yes, crisps. Thank you Andy.
Most Hated Foods: Vegetables. I’ve had to hide vegetables in his food since he was 10 months old.
Words: Mama, Dada, hi, bye, apple, good and “all gone”. Today he also started calling his little plastic sheep ‘baa’. I kept saying, “This is a sheep. A sheep. Sheeeeeep. The sheep goes ‘baa’.” He’d reply, “baa!”
Sleeping: If he isn’t teething or doesn’t have a cold, he will sleep from 7 PM (ish) to 6:30 AM (ish). Most days he has a nice two hour nap in his cot starting at 10 AM. Typically though, he’s teething or has a cold.
Favorite Toys: Anything with wheels is a big hit. He’s also partial to the Little People Farmhouse that I picked up at a charity shop last month.
Favorite Not Toys: Daddy’s phones, the TV remotes, the cable box (he pushes the on\off button to the point that I think it will fall off soon), the trash bin, the cat’s food bowl, the pile of PSP games stored in a drawer, and our shoes.
Funny but Annoying Game: Henry likes to take the refrigerator magnets off the fridge and will slide them UNDER the fridge so to get them is risking sticking your hand where you don’t think hands should ever be.
Best Mommy Moments: It might be the constant teething or all the colds, but Henry is becoming very cuddly this past month. He will hug me properly then hold on tightly with both his little hands on my shoulders if he doesn’t think the hug should end quite yet. He also gives the best kisses – granted they are open mouthed which is a bit weird.
Worst Mommy Moments: The boy hates diaper changes. He screams bloody murder every time I change him. This is fine if it’s just a diaper of pee. When it’s a shit storm in there, sometimes it takes two people to get him cleaned off and to stop him from flinging both his hands and feet into the poo. Henry seemingly has no issue what-so-ever in sitting in shit for however long it takes us to realize that he needs changing. I truly believe that he would happily wear the same diaper all day long – only willing to get naked if there is a bath promised (which he loves).
And now…this month’s pictures:
Weight at 1 year check up: 23 lbs
Height at 1 year check up: 29 inches
Teeth: Two at the bottom, two at the top. There are currently 3 teeth making their way through though which has caused us to buy stock in baby ibuprofen and Calpol.
Walking: Not yet, but he’s getting closer. He walks fine with a baby walker and while holding just one of our hands but he still isn’t brave enough to do it by himself.
Favorite Foods: Yogurt, any type of fruit but the favorites are blueberries, strawberries and bananas, any type of meat or fish (I’ve fed him lamb liver once which he was quite happy about), crackers, Cheerios, spaghetti, and crisps. Yes, crisps. Thank you Andy.
Most Hated Foods: Vegetables. I’ve had to hide vegetables in his food since he was 10 months old.
Words: Mama, Dada, hi, bye, apple, good and “all gone”. Today he also started calling his little plastic sheep ‘baa’. I kept saying, “This is a sheep. A sheep. Sheeeeeep. The sheep goes ‘baa’.” He’d reply, “baa!”
Sleeping: If he isn’t teething or doesn’t have a cold, he will sleep from 7 PM (ish) to 6:30 AM (ish). Most days he has a nice two hour nap in his cot starting at 10 AM. Typically though, he’s teething or has a cold.
Favorite Toys: Anything with wheels is a big hit. He’s also partial to the Little People Farmhouse that I picked up at a charity shop last month.
Favorite Not Toys: Daddy’s phones, the TV remotes, the cable box (he pushes the on\off button to the point that I think it will fall off soon), the trash bin, the cat’s food bowl, the pile of PSP games stored in a drawer, and our shoes.
Funny but Annoying Game: Henry likes to take the refrigerator magnets off the fridge and will slide them UNDER the fridge so to get them is risking sticking your hand where you don’t think hands should ever be.
Best Mommy Moments: It might be the constant teething or all the colds, but Henry is becoming very cuddly this past month. He will hug me properly then hold on tightly with both his little hands on my shoulders if he doesn’t think the hug should end quite yet. He also gives the best kisses – granted they are open mouthed which is a bit weird.
Worst Mommy Moments: The boy hates diaper changes. He screams bloody murder every time I change him. This is fine if it’s just a diaper of pee. When it’s a shit storm in there, sometimes it takes two people to get him cleaned off and to stop him from flinging both his hands and feet into the poo. Henry seemingly has no issue what-so-ever in sitting in shit for however long it takes us to realize that he needs changing. I truly believe that he would happily wear the same diaper all day long – only willing to get naked if there is a bath promised (which he loves).
And now…this month’s pictures:
Just waking up from a nap
Like I said, ANYTHING with wheels
The boy loves 'In the Night Garden'
I should also mention that he loves crawling around in pubs.
He even knows where the Gents is.
Giving Grandpa a hug.
Pinwheels are good for hitting Daddy over the head with.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Another one for Maggie : Gnome Feng Shui
Henry obviously has my passion for gnomes. Also, this video will give good evidence on why my gnomes both have chipped noses.
Monday, April 16, 2012
So this is toddlerhood
I have been struggling to find the time to update this blog. No, that’s technically a lie. At night, after we put the Henbot to sleep, I do have the time to write. I guess I should say that I’ve been struggling to find the energy to write this blog as lately, after we get the Henbot to sleep, all I want to do is stare at the television for an hour, have a cocktail and go to bed.
As you know, Henry turned one year old about two weeks ago. At the point he turned one, there seemed to be this switch in his brain that went from hyper baby to AHHHHHH I’M A TODDLER!!!! (One would call this going to ‘11’ by the way). As Andy and myself are older parents and we are as far from fit as one could possibly be without a crane to get us out of bed in the morning, it’s fair to say that we are struggling a bit to keep up with him. I’m sure once he starts walking\running, this will get even worse. We may need to consider hiring a “just quite didn’t make it to the Olympics” track runner to help us out.
I don’t know if it’s just the rapid crawling from here to there to there to here to there to ‘What’s this? It’s shiny!’ to there to ‘Power cords! Fun!’ to here to there to ‘Catch the cat! Must catch the cat!’ to there to here to ‘Must drop Daddy’s cell phone on the ground then push it across hardwood floor like car!’ to there to ‘I don’t know what this is so I better eat it’ to here to ‘Cable box ON! Cable box OFF! Cable box ON! Cable Box OFF!’ to there to ‘NOOOO! I want to stick my fingers in the hole in the soda can! You are so UNFAIR!’ to ‘Shoes shoes shoes EVERYWHERE!’ to there to ‘MUST PLAY IN TRASH CAN WHEN PARENTS AREN’T LOOKING’, or if it’s just his constant babbling and struggling to figure out what he’s saying.
The experts, whoever hell THEY are, always say that when your kid is babbling away that you should maintain eye contact and respond back to them like it’s a proper conversation. This is supposedly to help the kid understand how the flow of conversation works. Now, when I used to work, I used to struggle maintaining focus during an hour long meeting – and that was listening to someone speak proper English. For Henry’s 11 some waking hours, I do my best to “uh huh” him and “oh really?” him and “oh, that sounds interesting, tell me more”. Of course I end up getting bored with my own responses so I start making shit up. “There was a bear with a potato peeler running through the yard?! Wow! Did he have 5 arms? Tell me more!”
By the way, where do toddlers learn the “I don’t know” look? How do they know how to mimic “I don’t know” without actually knowing what “I don’t know” is? Henry has been doing this for the last couple of days. He does the “I don’t know” expression (head tilted to one side of course) and then starts chattering away and looking at me like I’m the dipshit who can’t see the obvious. Where do they learn this? Do I do this to Andy without realizing it? Did he get it from ‘Postman Pat’? I have no idea.
I do know what Henry got from ‘Postman Pat’ though. He got his first word. In the mornings after I give him his bottle, I put him in his play pen and stick on Cbeebies for twenty minutes while I have a cup of coffee and check my email. When I came back into the room with my coffee, ‘Postman Pat’ was on and they were doing something with apples (I don’t watch the show very carefully – they could have been shoving them in the mouths of roasted pigs, I really have no idea). Henry turned away from the television, looked at me and said, “apple”. His first word…and he got it off of ‘Postman Pat’. He said ‘apple’ for a good hour or so after that but since has only spouted it once or twice while I was changing his diaper. He did spout his 2nd word today, to the cat. It was close to bedtime. Henry was on the couch with us and the cat was lounging on Andy’s legs. Suddenly Henry sprung towards the cat, looked at her and said, “HI!” The cat was not amused, though Andy and I had a good laugh about it.
Anyhow, I’d write more but I’m tired and my drink is waiting.
As you know, Henry turned one year old about two weeks ago. At the point he turned one, there seemed to be this switch in his brain that went from hyper baby to AHHHHHH I’M A TODDLER!!!! (One would call this going to ‘11’ by the way). As Andy and myself are older parents and we are as far from fit as one could possibly be without a crane to get us out of bed in the morning, it’s fair to say that we are struggling a bit to keep up with him. I’m sure once he starts walking\running, this will get even worse. We may need to consider hiring a “just quite didn’t make it to the Olympics” track runner to help us out.
On the move...
I don’t know if it’s just the rapid crawling from here to there to there to here to there to ‘What’s this? It’s shiny!’ to there to ‘Power cords! Fun!’ to here to there to ‘Catch the cat! Must catch the cat!’ to there to here to ‘Must drop Daddy’s cell phone on the ground then push it across hardwood floor like car!’ to there to ‘I don’t know what this is so I better eat it’ to here to ‘Cable box ON! Cable box OFF! Cable box ON! Cable Box OFF!’ to there to ‘NOOOO! I want to stick my fingers in the hole in the soda can! You are so UNFAIR!’ to ‘Shoes shoes shoes EVERYWHERE!’ to there to ‘MUST PLAY IN TRASH CAN WHEN PARENTS AREN’T LOOKING’, or if it’s just his constant babbling and struggling to figure out what he’s saying.
Still on the move....
The experts, whoever hell THEY are, always say that when your kid is babbling away that you should maintain eye contact and respond back to them like it’s a proper conversation. This is supposedly to help the kid understand how the flow of conversation works. Now, when I used to work, I used to struggle maintaining focus during an hour long meeting – and that was listening to someone speak proper English. For Henry’s 11 some waking hours, I do my best to “uh huh” him and “oh really?” him and “oh, that sounds interesting, tell me more”. Of course I end up getting bored with my own responses so I start making shit up. “There was a bear with a potato peeler running through the yard?! Wow! Did he have 5 arms? Tell me more!”
By the way, where do toddlers learn the “I don’t know” look? How do they know how to mimic “I don’t know” without actually knowing what “I don’t know” is? Henry has been doing this for the last couple of days. He does the “I don’t know” expression (head tilted to one side of course) and then starts chattering away and looking at me like I’m the dipshit who can’t see the obvious. Where do they learn this? Do I do this to Andy without realizing it? Did he get it from ‘Postman Pat’? I have no idea.
This is not our kid, this is just the expression so you know what the hell I'm talking about.
I do know what Henry got from ‘Postman Pat’ though. He got his first word. In the mornings after I give him his bottle, I put him in his play pen and stick on Cbeebies for twenty minutes while I have a cup of coffee and check my email. When I came back into the room with my coffee, ‘Postman Pat’ was on and they were doing something with apples (I don’t watch the show very carefully – they could have been shoving them in the mouths of roasted pigs, I really have no idea). Henry turned away from the television, looked at me and said, “apple”. His first word…and he got it off of ‘Postman Pat’. He said ‘apple’ for a good hour or so after that but since has only spouted it once or twice while I was changing his diaper. He did spout his 2nd word today, to the cat. It was close to bedtime. Henry was on the couch with us and the cat was lounging on Andy’s legs. Suddenly Henry sprung towards the cat, looked at her and said, “HI!” The cat was not amused, though Andy and I had a good laugh about it.
Thanks Pat.
Anyhow, I’d write more but I’m tired and my drink is waiting.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
1st Birthday
The Boy on the Big Day
And a little video taken at the zoo, which was his birthday outing:
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
On the eve...
So on the eve of my son’s first birthday, I’d like to tell you all how much my son rocks. I could of course start reminiscing of what was happening to my nether regions a mere year ago. I could also tell you that on the eve of my son’s first birthday he decided to cut a couple more teeth so he’s been up crying in pain every few hours. But no, I think that on the eve of my son’s first birthday, I rather tell you how much my son rocks. Like K.I.S.S. style rocks.
The one story I’ve been meaning to tell you all about happened about three weeks ago when we were at one of our weekly playgroup sessions. At this particular session, there is a guitar playing woman singing songs. After the song singing, they bring out a little table where they serve water in sippy cups and offer up some fruit. My son, being of my loins, is usually one of the first kids standing at the little table reaching for something to shove in his gob. He’s usually the last one at the table as well, but that’s neither here nor there.
I might have mentioned that Henry is a bit small for his age. I’ve yet to encounter any kid near his age who is around his size. Even so, it’s really starting to irritate me when mothers tell their kids (most of whom are only a few weeks or months older than Henry) to mind “the baby”. While he might not be walking yet, he has taken the pre-Olympics Baby Gold for crawling (taking the gold for Great Britain and the United States)(yes, it’s possible) and he pulls himself up on EVERYTHING and I’ve seen him stand solo when he’s not paying attention and he says “mama” and “yeah” (our proper English in this house is appalling) and he likes potato chips over everything else in the world and DAMMIT, HE’S NOT A FUCKING BABY. Regardless of this, I’m certainly not worried that my son is wearing clothes for 12 months being that he’s 12 months and not size 3T.
ANYHOW, so at this particular playgroup session, the baby refreshment table comes out and as usual Henry is one of the first kids standing there waiting to be “refreshed”. It happened to be a busy session that day and because the session is for 6 months to 5 years age range, there were a lot of older kids also at the table. Immediately the older kids – kids that stand a good head and a half above Henry – started pushing him out of the way. My little boy held his ground until two older boys ganged up on him. They pushed him and shouted in his face and eventually Henry freaked out and started to cry.
At that point I came over. As a general parenting rule, I try my best to keep my distance (but ever watching) so that Henry can learn to take care of himself. I intervene when Henry is being rude (stealing toys from kids is his personal forte) or when Henry obviously is overwhelmed. This was one of those times. I picked him up and he did a very short sob in my arms. I reassured them that those kids were being mean. He looked at me then looked at them and then he motioned to be put down. If it had been me – if it had been me at 37 years old no less – I would have said “fuck this” and left. Not my brave boy Henry. Two older boys a head and a half taller than him that were still at the table– he just went right back to hold his place, older boys be damned.
I’ve always loved my child. I’ve always thought he was cute and smart and just generally awesome. That day though, I was proud. I was so damn proud of my son that my chest swelled. I think about that, on the eve of his first birthday, about how I hope that he will always be like that. I hope that this little boy who is friendly and funny (a comedian and a flirt) will know how to pick himself up and stand his ground when the odds are stacked against him.
I love you peanut. Happy Eve of your 1st Birthday.
The one story I’ve been meaning to tell you all about happened about three weeks ago when we were at one of our weekly playgroup sessions. At this particular session, there is a guitar playing woman singing songs. After the song singing, they bring out a little table where they serve water in sippy cups and offer up some fruit. My son, being of my loins, is usually one of the first kids standing at the little table reaching for something to shove in his gob. He’s usually the last one at the table as well, but that’s neither here nor there.
I might have mentioned that Henry is a bit small for his age. I’ve yet to encounter any kid near his age who is around his size. Even so, it’s really starting to irritate me when mothers tell their kids (most of whom are only a few weeks or months older than Henry) to mind “the baby”. While he might not be walking yet, he has taken the pre-Olympics Baby Gold for crawling (taking the gold for Great Britain and the United States)(yes, it’s possible) and he pulls himself up on EVERYTHING and I’ve seen him stand solo when he’s not paying attention and he says “mama” and “yeah” (our proper English in this house is appalling) and he likes potato chips over everything else in the world and DAMMIT, HE’S NOT A FUCKING BABY. Regardless of this, I’m certainly not worried that my son is wearing clothes for 12 months being that he’s 12 months and not size 3T.
ANYHOW, so at this particular playgroup session, the baby refreshment table comes out and as usual Henry is one of the first kids standing there waiting to be “refreshed”. It happened to be a busy session that day and because the session is for 6 months to 5 years age range, there were a lot of older kids also at the table. Immediately the older kids – kids that stand a good head and a half above Henry – started pushing him out of the way. My little boy held his ground until two older boys ganged up on him. They pushed him and shouted in his face and eventually Henry freaked out and started to cry.
At that point I came over. As a general parenting rule, I try my best to keep my distance (but ever watching) so that Henry can learn to take care of himself. I intervene when Henry is being rude (stealing toys from kids is his personal forte) or when Henry obviously is overwhelmed. This was one of those times. I picked him up and he did a very short sob in my arms. I reassured them that those kids were being mean. He looked at me then looked at them and then he motioned to be put down. If it had been me – if it had been me at 37 years old no less – I would have said “fuck this” and left. Not my brave boy Henry. Two older boys a head and a half taller than him that were still at the table– he just went right back to hold his place, older boys be damned.
Right before the pushing began.
And after the whole thing was over. The kid eating on the left hand side of the picture was one of the assailants.
I’ve always loved my child. I’ve always thought he was cute and smart and just generally awesome. That day though, I was proud. I was so damn proud of my son that my chest swelled. I think about that, on the eve of his first birthday, about how I hope that he will always be like that. I hope that this little boy who is friendly and funny (a comedian and a flirt) will know how to pick himself up and stand his ground when the odds are stacked against him.
I love you peanut. Happy Eve of your 1st Birthday.
Monday, March 26, 2012
March in Photos
I've run out of time tonight to give you a proper post. Instead I'll give you my favorite pictures from March. Just so you know, Henry is doing much better now. He caught a cold a week after the stomach flu but he's definitely on the mend now.
Henry practicing his texting skills much to his father's amusement.
At Sing-Along-Tots practicing his castanet skills.
Giving the ball the business.
Sharing some crisps with Daddy.
"Flowers are like, whatever."
Getting a kiss from my boy on Mother's Day.
Watching something incredibly amusing...probably 'Chuggington'.
Check out the new top teeth!
It's 5:30 in the morning! Time to bother the cat!
Playing 'Die Hard' outside. Henry plays the part of Bruce Willis.
And finally...a little video to show how English my child is:
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Sick
So if I had actually managed to get this post out earlier this week, I could have told you a whole bunch of fun stuff that is going on with Henry. For example, one of his top teeth is coming in. Just one mind you, meaning that when it’s fully in he’s going to look like a hilly-billy until its mate decides to makes an appearance. He’s also responding to questions – not with words that we can make heads or tales of – but it is a definite response. “Did you like the chicken, Henry?” “gerf!” “Would you like some juice?” “nordf! Mommommommom.” If I wrote this earlier I would have told you about how he takes my hand and “leads” it to something he wants me to pick up - or how I bought him his first pair of hard sole shoes as he’s doing too much damage with the soft soles when I take him out.
Since those great moments earlier in the week, I have since been covered in so much shit and vomit that I hardly remembered to bring them up. Henry, sadly, is ill.
It started suddenly enough, on Friday morning. It was one of only two times since he was born that both Andy and I got up before Henry. By 7:30 AM, I got a bit concerned and went in to wake him up. The minute I opened his bedroom door, the smell hit me. I thought innocently enough that the smell was from his mouth. Babies sometimes get bad breath when they are teething. As I took off his sleep sack, I noticed that it was wet and stained. I started to get a bit worried. As I took off his pajamas, I noticed that his onesie on the belly was also stained. I shouted down to Andy, “Get up here! I think Henry is peeing blood!”
Oh no. It wasn’t blood. It was poo. A lot and a lot of poo.
There is a point when you are looking at your poor child lying there, every possible inch and crevice seemingly filled with poo that you just freeze and think, “I really don’t know where to start in regards to cleaning this.” The box of baby wipes just doesn’t seem worthy. You want to be near running water. Hell, you dream of a power hose. You pray to yourself to please, please, don’t let any of this shit end up on me. But it does, it always does.
An emergency bath was arranged. All clothes and bed linens were promptly washed. Showers were had for the adults who might have a sprig of poo somewhere on their person. 2 hours after the incident, we were all clean and everything was alright with the world again…
…until Henry had another diaper blow out. This time the poo ended up on my nose. I still don’t know how. I refused to give Henry another bath so an entire box of baby wipes were used and another load of laundry done. A half hour later we were acceptably clean again.
…but then he projectile vomited.
…and then a few hours later, he had more diarrhea.
We took him to the doctor in the afternoon and she gave us a prescription for (basically) children’s Gatorade powder and she told us to “watch him”. I don’t know what that means really. I watch him every day. She never said to watch out for. I’m assuming that if gnomes started climbing out of his ears that we are to take him to the hospital….or the zoo…it’s hard to tell with these things.
It’s Sunday now and Henry is still sick. He’s been going through 4-5 outfit changes per day due to some sort of bodily fluid flowing out of him. My washing machine is forming a protest against me stating that it will refuse to wash anything that has touched vomit or shit. Truthfully, I’m totally with my washing machine. I had a half box of washing powder (the big 50 load box) and now it’s almost gone. I don’t mind doing laundry but this is ridiculous. And seriously, Beth, if you ever come to visit, sit on the armchair…the sofa is no longer safe.
I will say (with pride), that Henry has been a real trooper through all of this. He will whine occasionally, which is to be expected for how much pain he’s in (he’s teething too, remember) but for the most part he tries really hard to just be normal. He still tries to play, even though he isn’t as concentrated and energetic as usual. He gives us lots of cuddles which I almost think is his way of comforting us while we’re trying so hard to comfort him. And while I want him to be better as soon as possible there is something so irresistibly cute (in that “awww” sort of way) about a sick little boy and his bear.
Feel better little bean.
Since those great moments earlier in the week, I have since been covered in so much shit and vomit that I hardly remembered to bring them up. Henry, sadly, is ill.
It started suddenly enough, on Friday morning. It was one of only two times since he was born that both Andy and I got up before Henry. By 7:30 AM, I got a bit concerned and went in to wake him up. The minute I opened his bedroom door, the smell hit me. I thought innocently enough that the smell was from his mouth. Babies sometimes get bad breath when they are teething. As I took off his sleep sack, I noticed that it was wet and stained. I started to get a bit worried. As I took off his pajamas, I noticed that his onesie on the belly was also stained. I shouted down to Andy, “Get up here! I think Henry is peeing blood!”
Oh no. It wasn’t blood. It was poo. A lot and a lot of poo.
There is a point when you are looking at your poor child lying there, every possible inch and crevice seemingly filled with poo that you just freeze and think, “I really don’t know where to start in regards to cleaning this.” The box of baby wipes just doesn’t seem worthy. You want to be near running water. Hell, you dream of a power hose. You pray to yourself to please, please, don’t let any of this shit end up on me. But it does, it always does.
An emergency bath was arranged. All clothes and bed linens were promptly washed. Showers were had for the adults who might have a sprig of poo somewhere on their person. 2 hours after the incident, we were all clean and everything was alright with the world again…
…until Henry had another diaper blow out. This time the poo ended up on my nose. I still don’t know how. I refused to give Henry another bath so an entire box of baby wipes were used and another load of laundry done. A half hour later we were acceptably clean again.
…but then he projectile vomited.
…and then a few hours later, he had more diarrhea.
We took him to the doctor in the afternoon and she gave us a prescription for (basically) children’s Gatorade powder and she told us to “watch him”. I don’t know what that means really. I watch him every day. She never said to watch out for. I’m assuming that if gnomes started climbing out of his ears that we are to take him to the hospital….or the zoo…it’s hard to tell with these things.
Taking a little nap on Daddy. He's so sick, he's pouting in his sleep.
It’s Sunday now and Henry is still sick. He’s been going through 4-5 outfit changes per day due to some sort of bodily fluid flowing out of him. My washing machine is forming a protest against me stating that it will refuse to wash anything that has touched vomit or shit. Truthfully, I’m totally with my washing machine. I had a half box of washing powder (the big 50 load box) and now it’s almost gone. I don’t mind doing laundry but this is ridiculous. And seriously, Beth, if you ever come to visit, sit on the armchair…the sofa is no longer safe.
I will say (with pride), that Henry has been a real trooper through all of this. He will whine occasionally, which is to be expected for how much pain he’s in (he’s teething too, remember) but for the most part he tries really hard to just be normal. He still tries to play, even though he isn’t as concentrated and energetic as usual. He gives us lots of cuddles which I almost think is his way of comforting us while we’re trying so hard to comfort him. And while I want him to be better as soon as possible there is something so irresistibly cute (in that “awww” sort of way) about a sick little boy and his bear.
Feel better little bean.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Past the Boob and Blanket
In less than 6 weeks time, my little boy (he’s no longer a baby) will turn 1 year old. I’m sure I will have a very emotional post when that time finally comes. Since we aren’t there quite yet, I’d thought I’d give a run down of the items in the past year that have made Life with Baby a wee bit easier*. I could lie and say that I’m doing this for you all, but really, I’ll most likely use this post as a reference point for when I get invited to future baby showers. But you know, feel free to find it useful if you want.
NOTE: Some say that all the gear you need for a baby is a boob and a blanket. I’m not saying that’s not true. I AM saying it’s not 1850 anymore and if you can afford it and it makes your life easier than why the fuck not?
THE FIRST THREE MONTHS
Gerber Burp Cloths
I got a set of 4 of these for a baby shower gift. While I had other burp cloths, these absorbed more and dried faster than any other I had around. Since Henry was a reflux baby and we dealt with A LOT of spit up, we went through these pretty fast and I ended up buying another set of 4 to lessen my laundry load. While I have lost one or two in the last year, I still use them regularly for the odd puke\spit-up\drool. In fact, there appears to be one wadded under my ass at the moment. Ow.
Muslin Swaddle Blanket
OK, I was totally about swaddling. I had swaddle gear galore. I had thick swaddle blankets and thin swaddle blankets and fleece swaddle blankets. I even shelled out for (what turned out to be) the completely useless Miracle Blanket. About 3 weeks after Henry was born, I got a muslin blanket as a gift. It Was\Is Awesome. First of all, the spring Henry was born ended up being very warm and I didn’t want to swaddle him in anything that would make him too hot. The muslin is very thin and also very breathable. It also wraps well. You know when you over stuff a tortilla and the tortilla just collapses? That’s what a non-proper swaddle blanket does. The muslin just seems to “stick” to itself making it perfect for swaddling. Plus, when Henry threw up on this blanket, because it’s so thin it would dry really really fast. It also turned out to be a great blanket to cover him in the summertime when he was past swaddling.
Trumpette Baby Socks
These were another baby gift we got. I was astounded when I found out how much these 6 pairs of socks cost when I went to go buy another set. I ended up shelling out for another set because these socks, unlike all the other fucking socks I had tried to put on my son’s feet, actually stayed on. Oh sure, I could have bought Socks On but I couldn’t help thinking that those things make your kid look like their wearing an orthopedic foot brace. As an added bonus, I got so many compliments on these socks on a daily basis that I felt like Style Mom of the Year even though I was wearing Haven’t Been Washed in Two Weeks jeans and a scrubby pony tail. Quick note – there will be a point in your baby’s life that he will pull off socks. There isn’t a miracle sock in the world to help you then.
Cable Television
I don’t care if you are a normal television watcher or not. Until your sweet baby starts sleeping 5 hours at a stretch at night, you WILL find yourself up at 3 in the morning (and 5, and 7 etc.). I’m not saying that cable television will give you quality programming (you’ll be too tired to appreciate it anyhow) but it will give you an option of 90’s sitcoms or bad reality shows or some cheesy 80’s movie and not 4 channels of infomercials pimping miracle bras and laundry soap.
3 – 7 MONTHS
Baby Gym
To this day, this and the activity center below have been the best purchases so far. While we only ended up using the gym for 3 ½ months before Henry started crawling, it was 3 ½ months of pure joy. He loved it under there. If you are currently holding a 3 month old baby thinking to yourself, “I would love to get the dishes done and maybe check Facebook” then get yourself a baby gym. We put him under there and he’d happily play and coo and do whatever it is babies do for over an hour at a time before he started fussing for some parental attention. Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t keep him there all day – maybe once in the morning, once in the afternoon – but it gave us enough time to do whatever it was that we needed to do. *Sigh* I miss the baby gym.
Life Factory Teether Ring
This was yet another gift we got. I remembered when I received it I was all “oooh, a rubber ring….yay…” but seriously, it was Henry’s absolute favorite by the time he reached 4 months. It’s really inexpensive too (unlike the rest of the items on this list) so there should be no reason why you shouldn’t have one.
Ella’s Kitchen
I think I mention Ella’s Kitchen packet food more than I really should. I could really just put down “Organic Pureed Food in Packets” and be done with it because I’m sure there are other products just as good. In all earnestness, I really had these grand intentions to make and puree all my own baby food. “It’s a lot of work,” I said, “but it’s cheaper and it will be worth it.” Fuck That. When you have a baby, the less work you have to do, the better. To be honest, I did TRY at first. I made a huge batch of carrot and parsnips, then some pumpkin, and I think potatoes. You know what happened? Henry wouldn’t eat them. I spent 3 hours cooking and I ended up throwing it all away. It was after that that Ella’s Kitchen became a staple.
Bright Starts Around-We-Go
OK, listen. If you live in the UK, this is a really pricey item. We were very fortunate that we found one 30 miles away for twenty pounds (on Gumtree). The one we have also is broken in the fact that the electronics on it have so much sand in it from the previous owner in no longer functions. All this doesn’t matter. We picked this up when Henry was around 5 months and we are still using it. It’s safer than a walker and it also keeps him entertained (and contained) while we do other things. Very important feature once baby starts crawling. Knowing what I know now, I would have happily paid full price for this if we hadn’t found it used.
7 MONTHS TO PRESENT
Aqua Pod
Once Henry grew out of his little baby bath (I was tired of cleaning the all counters and floors every day after he had his 5 minute bath – he’s a splasher), I was really sort of scared of transitioning him into the big bath. Babies are slippery when wet and I had this envision of washing his bottom and him slipping out and being underwater and even though I was right there I couldn’t grab him because babies are so damn slippery when wet and he’d drown and it would be all my fault for washing him in the first place and I’m going to drive off a cliff now. So yes! We got the Aqua Pod from Mothercare (I’m sure they have something similar in the States) and now life is very happy during bath time.
Fisher Price Ducky Rattle Stacker
Even before he grasped how to stack the rings on the pole, Henry loved playing with the rings as rattles. He still does. This is one of those toys that he plays with so much, sometimes I hide it so that he plays with some of his other toys.
Touch and Feel Books
It really doesn’t matter what the story is or who makes the book or whatever – touch and feel books are where it’s at…according to Henry. I’m grateful that he already seems to be drawn towards books but the Touch and Feel ones are the ones that he returns to over and over again. He doesn’t so much as “touch” and “feel” the books as he does scratch them, but you know, whatever. The ones we do have that he particularly likes are the “That’s Not My….” Series. We have “That’s Not My Dinosaur” and “That’s Not My Penguin”. I’m sure once he turns 21 I’ll be able to find him, “That’s Not My Beer” and “That’s Not My Venereal Disease”.
Sleep Sacks
They call sleep sacks ‘Gro Bags’ here in the UK. It’s the same concept; it’s a sleeveless sleeping bag that the baby wears. We’ve been using the Gro Bag ever since we stopped swaddling and it’s been working out really well. While I know we all didn’t grow up with sleep sacks ourselves, I look at how much Henry tosses and turns at night and it truly makes me wonder why we all weren’t freezing our asses off growing up. We currently have a Gro Bag that fits 0-6 month olds. Henry is just squeezing into still. As I was dressing him tonight, I may have teared up a bit thinking that I’ll have to soon replace it. Shut up. Mothers cry at stupid things.
0-18 YEARS
Vodka
Need I say more?
*I hope this doesn’t need to be said (but I’ll say it anyhow) but I am not getting paid to endorse any of these products. I swear. If I was getting paid, I’d be too busy booking my holiday to Italy to write this silly blog post.
NOTE: Some say that all the gear you need for a baby is a boob and a blanket. I’m not saying that’s not true. I AM saying it’s not 1850 anymore and if you can afford it and it makes your life easier than why the fuck not?
THE FIRST THREE MONTHS
Gerber Burp Cloths
Muslin Swaddle Blanket
OK, I was totally about swaddling. I had swaddle gear galore. I had thick swaddle blankets and thin swaddle blankets and fleece swaddle blankets. I even shelled out for (what turned out to be) the completely useless Miracle Blanket. About 3 weeks after Henry was born, I got a muslin blanket as a gift. It Was\Is Awesome. First of all, the spring Henry was born ended up being very warm and I didn’t want to swaddle him in anything that would make him too hot. The muslin is very thin and also very breathable. It also wraps well. You know when you over stuff a tortilla and the tortilla just collapses? That’s what a non-proper swaddle blanket does. The muslin just seems to “stick” to itself making it perfect for swaddling. Plus, when Henry threw up on this blanket, because it’s so thin it would dry really really fast. It also turned out to be a great blanket to cover him in the summertime when he was past swaddling.
Trumpette Baby Socks
These were another baby gift we got. I was astounded when I found out how much these 6 pairs of socks cost when I went to go buy another set. I ended up shelling out for another set because these socks, unlike all the other fucking socks I had tried to put on my son’s feet, actually stayed on. Oh sure, I could have bought Socks On but I couldn’t help thinking that those things make your kid look like their wearing an orthopedic foot brace. As an added bonus, I got so many compliments on these socks on a daily basis that I felt like Style Mom of the Year even though I was wearing Haven’t Been Washed in Two Weeks jeans and a scrubby pony tail. Quick note – there will be a point in your baby’s life that he will pull off socks. There isn’t a miracle sock in the world to help you then.
Cable Television
I don’t care if you are a normal television watcher or not. Until your sweet baby starts sleeping 5 hours at a stretch at night, you WILL find yourself up at 3 in the morning (and 5, and 7 etc.). I’m not saying that cable television will give you quality programming (you’ll be too tired to appreciate it anyhow) but it will give you an option of 90’s sitcoms or bad reality shows or some cheesy 80’s movie and not 4 channels of infomercials pimping miracle bras and laundry soap.
3 – 7 MONTHS
Baby Gym
To this day, this and the activity center below have been the best purchases so far. While we only ended up using the gym for 3 ½ months before Henry started crawling, it was 3 ½ months of pure joy. He loved it under there. If you are currently holding a 3 month old baby thinking to yourself, “I would love to get the dishes done and maybe check Facebook” then get yourself a baby gym. We put him under there and he’d happily play and coo and do whatever it is babies do for over an hour at a time before he started fussing for some parental attention. Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t keep him there all day – maybe once in the morning, once in the afternoon – but it gave us enough time to do whatever it was that we needed to do. *Sigh* I miss the baby gym.
Life Factory Teether Ring
This was yet another gift we got. I remembered when I received it I was all “oooh, a rubber ring….yay…” but seriously, it was Henry’s absolute favorite by the time he reached 4 months. It’s really inexpensive too (unlike the rest of the items on this list) so there should be no reason why you shouldn’t have one.
Ella’s Kitchen
I think I mention Ella’s Kitchen packet food more than I really should. I could really just put down “Organic Pureed Food in Packets” and be done with it because I’m sure there are other products just as good. In all earnestness, I really had these grand intentions to make and puree all my own baby food. “It’s a lot of work,” I said, “but it’s cheaper and it will be worth it.” Fuck That. When you have a baby, the less work you have to do, the better. To be honest, I did TRY at first. I made a huge batch of carrot and parsnips, then some pumpkin, and I think potatoes. You know what happened? Henry wouldn’t eat them. I spent 3 hours cooking and I ended up throwing it all away. It was after that that Ella’s Kitchen became a staple.
Bright Starts Around-We-Go
OK, listen. If you live in the UK, this is a really pricey item. We were very fortunate that we found one 30 miles away for twenty pounds (on Gumtree). The one we have also is broken in the fact that the electronics on it have so much sand in it from the previous owner in no longer functions. All this doesn’t matter. We picked this up when Henry was around 5 months and we are still using it. It’s safer than a walker and it also keeps him entertained (and contained) while we do other things. Very important feature once baby starts crawling. Knowing what I know now, I would have happily paid full price for this if we hadn’t found it used.
7 MONTHS TO PRESENT
Aqua Pod
Once Henry grew out of his little baby bath (I was tired of cleaning the all counters and floors every day after he had his 5 minute bath – he’s a splasher), I was really sort of scared of transitioning him into the big bath. Babies are slippery when wet and I had this envision of washing his bottom and him slipping out and being underwater and even though I was right there I couldn’t grab him because babies are so damn slippery when wet and he’d drown and it would be all my fault for washing him in the first place and I’m going to drive off a cliff now. So yes! We got the Aqua Pod from Mothercare (I’m sure they have something similar in the States) and now life is very happy during bath time.
Fisher Price Ducky Rattle Stacker
Even before he grasped how to stack the rings on the pole, Henry loved playing with the rings as rattles. He still does. This is one of those toys that he plays with so much, sometimes I hide it so that he plays with some of his other toys.
Touch and Feel Books
Sleep Sacks
0-18 YEARS
Vodka
Need I say more?
*I hope this doesn’t need to be said (but I’ll say it anyhow) but I am not getting paid to endorse any of these products. I swear. If I was getting paid, I’d be too busy booking my holiday to Italy to write this silly blog post.
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